Hodge Podge

Well, I have pulled a Murt; that is to say I have set a schedule for myself and have defied all of my rules and regulations for that schedule by promptly tossing the schedule, i.e. I haven't added any new content to this blog in a long ass time. Fall is upon us peeps and though we have been enjoying sunny skies and warm days the leaves are falling fast which means the seasonal transition is upon us. Yep, its time to get cozy with your housemates whoever they may be so make sure you follow Murt's guide to making it through winter without homicide:

1. Brush your teeth! Simple enough it seems but you would be surprised how many of us wish to have a good morning smooch or a late night tongue lashing with yesterdays clam-bake and Corona's on the breath. Feel free to throw in some floss once in awhile to remind us you aren't sporting Gary Oldman's Chiclets from True Romance.

2. Wash your hair. One can live with another in relatively close proximity and not notice the traditional B.O. but nothing gets the olfactory senses churning for the phantom wafts of fumunduh than a greasy head. Greasy head can only mean one thing and that is greasy everything else so do your roomie a favor and wash the lettuce, frequently.

3. Decide early on a TV schedule. Many a huffy morning/afternoon/evening can be spent watching someone else's horrid picks for Top Shows! More than one person has fantasized slipping a mickey to their partner when being forced to watch re-runs on the Game Show channel. Seriously? The f***in' Game Show Channel! I'd rather slam my nuts in a waffle iron.

4. Have Sex!!!! This is not strategery people; this is for the future of the human race. I watched that movie Kingdom of Men last year and I am convinced all the cell phones that we carry near our crotch as we're driving (dude you know you lay that shit on vibrate) has deformed our lil' swimmers and we are at risk of the end for humanity [save the humans]. Besides, having sex is a way to ease tension and boredom. There's a reason why you know so many people with birthdays in August through October. If you can't tap it, whack it!

5. Engage your mind. Find a creative outlet for those Oregon-Type winters when it is hovering just above freezing and refuses to snow but is more than happy to pelt your ass with hurricane force winds and horizontal rain. During this time, stay TV free lest you wind up violating rule #3. During this time you should write letters. To this day, there is nothing I love more than receiving a letter in the mail from a peep.

6. Daydream. You got nothing else to do so practice making your life better by daydreaming. Start small and add layers of financial wealth and altruism. The best thing about any type of dreaming is you can make it whatever you want! I always have had a set of especially lavish daydreams that I save for the worst of days; I like the Italian coast near La Spezia with brilliant sun, a fantastic view of the ocean, a cocktail in my hand, and this gorgeous woman...the rest is for me you perv!

So, whatever you do this fall/winter, make yourself happy. Find time to work on you and I'll find time to work on me but make sure you follow the above rules, especially number 4! Later peeps, I love and miss you all.

Murt

Topic of the day: Favorite winter time activity.

Quote of the Day:

"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world."
- George Bernard Shaw